Your Band Sucks

http://www.somethingawful.com/yourbandsucks/

Did you ever feel the desire to kill people with a fork

Sitting in the living-room eating this heap of spaghetti, John randomly came up with his desire to kill people with a fork. So i started wondering if one could actually do that, kill someone with a fork. How deep would it go? In no way it could for example get through your rips. What if you´d go for the jugular vein, you could bleed to death? But then how could anyone could get away with a murder like that? I can allready see the newspaper headline "Girl stabbed to death with fork, but what was she spooning at?" mhhh but then he could easily get away with it by talking his way out of it...he´d be going through Africa saying: "well, that the way the world is, guys" Well anyways imagine that picuter someone laying with his face flat in a heap of spaghetti with a fork sticking out of his neck? what a picture?

The superiority of the left-handed

Yesterday night, going out, again lower east side. We went to this bar with a little stage in it on first Ave...this is a weird place, right. Every wednesday they call out a year, the coming one will be some year in the eighties -i believe- and then 5 to 10 singer/songwriter will appear on stage to perform a song released in that particular year. Obviously there will be no band, so everyone out of the audience is able to claim there position on stage as a pianist, drummer etc. only "must have" is the knowledge of how to play the song that´ll be on next...well maybe this is confusing, or i cannot explain it very well, or it´s just not so very interesting as i thought... but undoubtly i learned about the superiority of the left handed in which John filled me in. So it is, that the left handed are an uprising -always supressed- but never the less power seizing community. The further the left side of ones body actually determindes ones actions, the more valuable, intelligent and important to the world one is. So facing the dreadfull fact, that Rob, Lara and me in particular are neither left eyed, nor handed, nor footed we seemed to be that much of unworthy and unimportant beings. As John -is in any case all of it, left eyed/handed/footed- he is a creature of such intelligence, power and beauty to outstand anyone and everyone. John pointed out, that the one big issue about being so blessed is, to make all your desicions precise, clear and forward and go through with them at once. Thinking about that, it came to my mind that Bush might be one of them. But going through with this idea seemed so ridiculous at one point. In the end realising that D. Cheny is much more one of the left handers -so it appeared to me-...???!!

In the end, this is ONE GREAT AMERICAN school, isn t it ???

Ooooh, look at that, do you know what i mean? Oh this is, this is...!!! Oh my god, yeah u know...? When it comes down to, yeah, this is just simply...!!! I know, I know...i totally know what ur talking about,...gosh !!!

r-u-connected.com

The guy next to you will someday be a good friend
Everyone is connected
The girl across the aisle is flirting with you
Everyone is connected
You and the woman in red have a shared secret
Everyone is connected
The man by the door will someday be your boss
Everyone is connected

i mean, what the fuck ?????

Breast-conversation

Rob: "I hate breast."

Susanne: "You hate breasts?"

Rob: " No, i said i hate ..."

Susanne: " I was just going to say: yeah, i hate those fuckers, lets have a demonstration against them."

John: "That would -when it comes to an end- turn out pretty bad for you susanne."

I hate breasts

can one suffocate by emotions?

...i was wondering? Can you drown in being loved to much? Can you stop breathing by guilt?
how to sort feelings, how to get ur mind straight...my brains seems so screewed at the moment, i couldn´t tell who i really am...you get so lost in this huge metropole. I just feel like screaming of my head WHO THE FUCK AM I? WHATS ME? WHATS MY ARTS? WHATS MY REAL EMOTIONS? i have to strip it down to something. It´s there under all these layers of pretentious, fucked up, false bullshit. I can feel my self rising... my arts, my abilities, there are not gone, are they?
who the fuck knows. I don´t.

Thanks to John and Paul...

...so i have to say.

Since working on Don Giovanni, i´ve been send on this trip by Hartmut... to define myself. He told me not to look from top down onto a story -not to analyse it- but to dig into it. To put myself next to the characters, watch myself, analyse myself... get it real. Take the arts, the stage design, the creative moments away from judging upon the characters but to define yourself within the play. Get a stand. I worked myslef up on that idea, so hard trying to get a grip. I could not tell if it worked out that way with my artwork on "diary" by Chuck Palanhiuk.
If it did, then by accident because i didn´t understand, i simply didn´t understand what he was talking about.

But starting to read Pauls blog regularly and getting into his artwork (http://www.tarartrat.blogspot.com/) i started to realise what this is all about. Finaly meeting John and talking to him, reading his shortstories and getting involved into philosophical, artsy and political discussions made the picture complete... now i at least seem to have this faint idea of what it could be that my professor was trying to get out. Thanx to you guys...

Feet beauty surgery ???

running up on the B train today -and nerve rackingly- stopping at various -at least for me- useless station i discovered a poster. It was blatenly promising nice feet by the use of feet surgery. Which occured hilarious to me as my brother seems to be keen on talking me into having my feet spiced up. Hair reduction, bones straightened, slimmer, smoother, better...i really wonder who would actually go for that. I promise to take a picture -which would involve me using the B train again- oh well, for my brothers sake.

Is it just me, or are policemen getting more ruthless these days?

If John could choose who would finally win the survival battle, he d go for the virus

weird day...went to the Time Warner Building to get a sketchbook and saw the Central Park for the first time in my live. So wanting to be very clever i took the A-train from 59th to get closer to the Castillo as usual by using the D... but ran right into a bomb thrat at the NYC Busstation... Had to walk blocks to surround that... clever me.
Then actually met Joe today, the "Werkstättenleiter" of the theater, such a nice guy and obiously i feel very comfortable round him and in his office -i would, wouldn´t i- it´s rather artsy and dusty and you wish you had time just to go through everything that has been stored there for years and years. I bet you´d find precious things...
After that met Diane Stile the Manager of the whole place, we talked about my aims and she decided that i´d have at least three days off a week, for my personal NYC experience which is cool to me... as i didn´t have the two non-work weeks as a starter at the end of october as concidered.
Uhhh and then i had to attend this Introduction meeting of all new Volunteers, Interns and Assistents...which was rather interesting but stuffed with weird american people. The girl next to me -orange looking skin from taning studio, blond dyed hair, pink lipstick- she had such a lound voice. People who know me wouldn´t believe it but i felt like my hears would be sucked into my brains...
But hearing about the roots of Castillo and it´s aim in the social attempts to show lower class kids a way into corporate America was so interesting... i feel i need to talk to Lena, Simon and Kai about that...
The founders actually raised out of the 70th Activist Scene... Dan Freedman, Gail Elberg...grand people.
Back home i was struck by Rob and Johns conversation about the endless survival battle between human being and virus. John actually randomly decided to take the virus side and it went on for a while... a passed out on the idea to topple people on top of each other while walking outside because of the skyscapers...
These weird artsy people all the time... i really feel like starting an art project with John... mhhhh

If anyone knew: Jay-Z is the only camel in Brooklyn

and once again a travel of 1h15 downtown...somehow the D train is not as fast as it should be recently. Ok, to the spot my first design meeting...i met the team, everyone seems rather nice. There are as well a lot of people working on this play. Soundesigner, Lightdesigner, Costumedesigner and "meine wenigkeit". Just after the meeting, which was rather effective,...rehearsal...such wonderfull actors i cannot believe this. It struck me that, even though, this was only a script reading rehearsal -and they actually went through the whole play in one go- it was so interesting, moving and even funny to watch and listen...so i can´t wait until they´ll start interacting...
uhhh
some photos below of my way to work -enjoy- and above at last the place were i´ll be living until the end of jan.

Funny to find an advert in the USA with a quotation of Albert Camus
>>Freedom is to know the truth<<

What a day

Today my first working day and me being so excited. Scared not to find the right bus, train, station, street... But i finaly got there unhurt and actually in time. Such a ridicously nice place...all the people working there made an effort to give me warm welcom. I´m really rather excited what tomorrow will bring.
After this fluttering start i was absolutly not able to just go home so i walked my way through Manhatten...and actually recognising places from yesterday night...
as i forgot my camera i´ll have to update u on that somehow later.
oh well i´m just feeling very much light hearted

Äpfel im Keller

Eine liebe Freundin und ganz wunderbare Regisseurin hat in ihrer Mail ein sehr passendes Bild benutzt um meine Bleibe in der Bronx zu bebildern...
Ich nehme es mir heraus sie zu zitieren:

"da bin ich ja froh, dass Du gut da aufgehoben bist in der großen Stadt. Wir haben auch lauter frische Äpfel von der Apfelpflückplantage in Altlandsberg im Keller und im Schuppen zum überwintern, aber das ist wahrscheinlich nicht vergleichbar"

doch das ist es und es gibt sogar Mäuse...mhhh ein Apfel in Big Apple irgendwie schön.

Manhatten

Oh män,

Manhatten here we go... Time Square, Crisler Building, Empire State Building... Lower East Side for Dinner and Backdoor Bar for a night out... Just like in Prohibition Times you get your alkohol in Tea cup amazing...

Today of to work, figure a scheduel and stuff...

Frau New York...*

just as promised a few photos of how i live....

hello world :)