the orthodox jew and santa claus's girlfriend

Yesterday I worked at the registration desk for the DSY Graduation. It took place at the Credit Suisse at Madison Avenue & 23rd, and yes the place looks like it sounds. Around one I headed out for lunch and, coming back, bumped into an orthodox Jew, who was coming out of the Credit Suisse. He stopped, stared at me an asked, if I were Jewish. Without waiting for a reply he asked if I was an orthodox Jew. Again not waiting for a reply he wanted to know if I had a job or if I would like to become his private secretary...huh??? what an impatient guy. I mean excuse me????

Later on we went to a rock show and here I have to say, sorry Maike and Judith for all that time me being a boring jackass and >>Spielverderber<<, I did like it and I’ll make up for all the times I canceled on you or dropped out of things. After that I went to Queens/Astoria for the first time ever. Apparently Santa lives there. It's a really cute little neighborhood and while we sat in a Starbucks I watched a girl standing at the corner, smoking and waiting for someone. She seemed very impatient, as she kept looking at the time, or someone was really not on time. Well anyways, all of a sudden Santa Claus appears. With his huge belly he slowly staggered across the street, in each hand a bag of shopping. I though: if he kelps walking like that, he'll totally bump into that poor girl. But he didn't, that was because he stopped. He stopped to hand over the grocery bags, take her cigarette, take a smoke, put it out and kiss her. So not only that Santa has a girlfriend, he does the shopping and both smoke. That seemed like a pretty cool discovery to me...